Some counsellors will be familiar with the work of Eric Berne and his seminal text: The Games People Play (1968) or I’m Ok, You’re Ok (Harris, 1967) and Staying Ok (Harris, 1985). Berne developed transactional analysis, based upon the ideas of Freud and Jung, but also developed an approach that is distinctly different, as he focussed on patients social ‘transactions’. Berne translated the relatively complex language used by Freud; where Freud talked about the three ego states as the id, the ego and the super ego, Berne translated these into the Child, the Adult, and the Parent which forms a key component in the approach of transactional analysis (TA). This article introduces TA, briefly, outlines evidence around TA in counselling and gives examples of the practical application of this potentially highly useful approach to counselling work.
 
Transactional Analysis in a Nutshell

Essentially as an extension of Freud’s thoughts on the ‘ego’, Eric Berne defined these three clear ego states with the assertion that we, at any given time, communicate predominantly through one or the other of them. We have learned these ego states from an early age, and they are affected by our early experiences. When we speak with each other there is a transaction taking place and although the initial transaction may be centred around one specific ego state, it does not mean that it is either a) received in the way it was intended or b) that your conversational partner will respond in the same ego state as you.

In TA, the idea is that ‘crossed’ transactions cause problems. So, when an offer is made: ‘what’s the time?’, this question might well come from an adult ego state.  When our partner’s answer comes back, ‘One o’clock’, everything is fine, as both conversational partners’ responses have come from the adult ego states. In reality we do not always respond this way, with potential answers coming from the critical parent: ‘I’ve told you a dozen times get a watch!’, or an adapted child response: ‘I’m not your time teller!’, and so sets up the stage for a sort of game between the talkers which can easily escalate into a row and the breakdown of their communication.

As TA relates to us all and our day-to-day communications, it, of course also relates to our clients. Clients engaged in counselling are often able to grasp fairly quickly the idea that we operate from different ego states at different times, even after a fairly brief explanation. As young children we learn fear, shame, anxiety, guilt and so on and this naturally relates to the child. In our moments of rage and shame it will feel just as it did when we were children, giving a good clue as to where highly emotional transactions are likely to come from. At a simple level, then, TA might offer a way forward for people who hope to communicate better by reducing the number of crossed transactions and being aware of where people are coming from so, they have the opportunity to match ego states or else make allowances for someone rather than engaging in a ‘game’. Sometimes clients will report changed behaviours simply because they are more aware of what they are doing, i.e., realising their responses are coming from a specific ego state and choosing to alter this. A first step is identifying ego states when they happen, and if there is the possibility of working with a partner, even better, as this way both people are familiar with the concepts and ideas of ego states and crossed transactions.
  
Here is a quick introduction to each ego state:

Parent
The parent ego state does not relate to actually being a parent – it relates to someone who is 5 and someone who is 55. In this state we respond automatically- we may even say things automatically as if it were recorded…
The parent state has two distinct parts:
1. Nurturing: caring, loving, helping
2. Controlling: criticising, punishing, threatening
 
Adult
The adult ego state is where the person is calmly responding and the accompanying feelings are likely to relate towards a stimulus that is in the here and now– this state has nothing to do with how old we are, it is about organizing and responding without emotion.
 
Child
This state relates to all the impulses we have had since infancy; again, this ego state has two parts to it:
The free child: is loving and uninhibited, curious, mischievous, spontaneous.
The adapted child: has learned to change in response to the world at large, fuelled by its experiences and (in all probability) your own parents’ behaviour- guilt, fear, anxiety, and envy come from the adapted child.


For example:
Bob: ‘Perhaps we should cut the grass today as it’s getting too long’ Adult.
Susan: ‘Yeah, but I really don’t feel like doing it, I want to go swimming instead’ Child.

This is not a judgment on either Bob or Susan being right/wrong, but merely a reflection of which ego states they are each operating from. There are of course times when operating from the child ego state is appropriate (a tickling contest for instance!) however, when things go ‘wrong’ it will often be accompanied by triggering of the child and/or the critical parent aspect of our ego states and often a solution will relate to getting one or both conversational partners back into their adult.
 
A recent review and meta-analysis, which combined the results from 41 clinical trials, reported that TA had moderate to large effects on psychopathology, social functioning, self-efficacy, ego-state functioning, well-being, and behaviour (Vos et al, 2022). In other work, the empathy and communication scores were examined in a small group (16) of trainee nursing students with a clear indication that both of these components improved following TA training (Whitley-Hunter, 2014). Recently (2023), Brad McLean has examined the history and use of TA in relationship counselling and calls for the renewed interest and investigation of TA as a modality for improving marital outcomes in psychotherapy.  

The reason for Berne’s original title, The Games People Play, is that he saw there were common patterns in people’s conversational behaviours which play out as ‘games’ – not the fun/release your free child type games, but more negative or even destructive games. For example, the ‘Yes but’ game can have relevance to counselling. In the ‘yes but’ game, at face value it might look like the talker is in their adult, ‘You’re the expert on this stuff what do you think?’, and this might be met with a response from her counsellor: ‘well I think yada yada yada…’; to which she might reply ‘that’s a good idea but…’. Then, as the rounds go on with the counsellor making other suggestions and the client repeating the yes but phase of the game, it becomes clear that they are engaged in the game. In reality what seems like an adult-to-adult interaction, is actually child to parent and the pay off ultimately for such a game, is that the child ego state of the client gets to say: ‘I told you I couldn’t be fixed, and I will just have to stay as I am…’. People essentially play games to re-experience feelings they had when they were very young. It’s not nice to feel these feelings, but it is familiar and is in a way ‘safe’ to stick to what has always happened. If my internal schema tells me ‘You are always being abandoned’, I may well interpret many situations (where I am not in fact being abandoned) as abandonment, and even go looking for it to reassure me the world is as I tell myself it is. Other popular games include ‘now I’ve got you’ (a game where an indignant person (for example only) might realise that they have revelled in using their right to complain over something/someone so that they can ‘win’, irrespective of how trivial and meaningless this may be. Another game ‘see what you made me do’ or a version thereof would be where, a husband, for example, allows his wife to choose where they eat dinner/choose a holiday and if the dinner/holiday goes well he enjoys himself and if not- he implies or even says clearly: ‘look what you got me/us into!’. It’s a win-win; he either enjoys himself in the genuine sense of taking pleasure from the situation or experiences the delectable pain/pleasure of pointing out this was all someone else’s fault. A problem with these games amongst adults is the distinct probability they are passed onto any witnessing children.

In a practical sense it may be that in a team of work colleagues, a family, a couple, or amongst friends there is someone whose inclination is to deal with stress by using or going to their critical parent with criticism/blame: ‘because you are not doing it right!’. Essentially the critical parent judges that you have behaved wrongly and tells you: ‘you should have…’. This, in turn could mean people employ their adapted child to ignore or turn away from the person’s behaviour. Otherwise, they engage their own critical parent and fight back with criticism towards their attacker. Either way, this is ground for messy and unhelpful emotional exchanges. Using TA to work through this with clients gives them the opportunity to identify their own ego states and work with these to come up with solutions.

Think about the effects of always doing what a partner wants (because it will keep them happy, and you learned as a child to keep someone happy). This state, which is of course adapted child, will probably lead to the adapter eventually ‘exploding’ when enough resentment (for doing all the ‘good’ things they do without reward) has built up. Talking conflict through using the TA model may help both people move closer to getting what they want. The practical utility of TA can be about getting clients and pairs of clients to identify ego states and then report back what is happening and work on new ways of moving forward e.g., when the physical symptoms of ‘child’ emerge there is a cue to take time out and process before responding in adult.
 
References

Berne, E. (1968). Games people play: The psychology of human relationships (Vol. 2768). Penguin Uk.Harris, T. A. (1967). I’m OK-You’re OK.

Harris, A. B., & Harris, T. A. (1985). Staying ok. Random House.

McLean, B. (2023). Transactional Analysis and Relationship Psychotherapy: A Need for Renewed Interest and Contemporary Thinking. Transactional Analysis Journal, 53(2), 113-129.

Vos, J., & van Rijn, B. (2022). The Effectiveness of Transactional Analysis Treatments and Their Predictors: A Systematic Literature Review and Explorative Meta-Analysis. Journal of Humanistic Psychology, 00221678221117111.

Whitley-Hunter, B. L. (2014). Validity of transactional analysis and emotional intelligence in training nursing students. Journal of Advances in Medical Education & Professionalism, 2(4), 138.