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Consequences of Infidelity

With infidelity come consequences. Many people are impacted. If we were to step outside and look in for a moment, we may be able to see just how many people are affected. Firstly there is the betrayer. He/she has learnt to be an actor in order to not be suspected. After being found out, feelings […]

Infidelity Demographics

How many times have you heard people say “it will never happen to us”? Maybe you have even said it yourself. It is widely thought that affairs only occur in bad or unhealthy relationships, but that too is a myth. Sadly, no one is immune to infidelity. Monogamous relationships are what most people say they […]

Types of Affairs

Knowing the type of infidelity sometimes makes understanding it a little easier. Was it a one night stand or a long term affair? Was it due to mid life crisis or an act of retaliation? Is there a sexual addiction or did he/she want the marriage to end? There are several types of affairs which […]

Counselling Dilemma: Couple Issues

You have been providing relationship counselling to a married couple for 4 months. The couple (Jeremy and Lucinda) have identified a number of issues, including a lack of trust, intimacy and communication. Jeremy had been involved in a brief affair, which he had confessed to his wife. It is largely this issue on which Jeremy […]

Infidelity: But Why?

There is no simple answer to why someone becomes unfaithful. It could be a symptom of other problems in the relationship or it could relate to something in your partner’s past. You may never truly know why it happened. Some believe that in order to reduce anxiety in relationships, we focus on a third party […]

Infidelity: Do’s and Don’ts

There are various losses associated with infidelity and various feelings which are individual to you at this time. Don’t expect these feelings to disappear overnight. Below are some Do’s and Don’ts that you might like to consider: DON’T make any major decisions right now. This is not the time to end your relationship or sell […]

Infidelity: Other Losses

Whether the relationship ends or not, when infidelity occurs some serious losses are felt. Losses can be physical or symbolic and may include: Loss of trust Loss of security Loss of hope/dreams Loss of faith Loss of intimacy and affection Loss of self esteem The obvious loss is that of trust in the other partner. […]

Graduate Story: Philomena Bateman

AIPC Graduate Philomena Bateman shares her story… “Diana Ross said “You can’t just sit there and wait for people to give you that golden dream. You’ve got to get out there and make it happen for yourself.” I finished the Diploma of Professional Counselling in 2005. The feeling of achievement I have as I look […]

Series: Coping with Infidelity

What exactly defines infidelity? Most of us believe that infidelity is the act of intercourse occurring with an external person outside a relationship. Interestingly, feelings of hurt and betrayal can be equally intense on discovering that your partner has been having secret regular coffee dates with a work colleague. People Magazine asked readers to define […]

Relationship Breakdown and Continuing Friendship

It’s the dreaded four-word phrase? “Can we be friends?” It’s a classic break-up line, but it’s also an issue that must be faced when a relationship hits the rocks. In reality, the questions ought to be “should we be friends?” And, if so, “how will we define that relationship?” Below are some points to ponder […]