Affairs

Infidelity: Making a Decision

As discussed earlier, one of three events occur after the discovery of an affair. For some, nothing changes in the relationship and the affair is either ignored, denied, repeated, or continued. The affair can unfortunately also end a relationship depending on the intensity and length of the affair and the values of the parties involved. […]

Infidelity: Stages of Grief

The loss resulting from infidelity is often followed by grief. This grief can be commonly divided into 5 stages. Denial On discovery of the affair, there is an initial period of shock and maybe denial. This may include making excuses for the betrayer or believing only what you want to hear. This is a perfectly […]

Consequences of Infidelity

With infidelity come consequences. Many people are impacted. If we were to step outside and look in for a moment, we may be able to see just how many people are affected. Firstly there is the betrayer. He/she has learnt to be an actor in order to not be suspected. After being found out, feelings […]

Infidelity Demographics

How many times have you heard people say “it will never happen to us”? Maybe you have even said it yourself. It is widely thought that affairs only occur in bad or unhealthy relationships, but that too is a myth. Sadly, no one is immune to infidelity. Monogamous relationships are what most people say they […]

Types of Affairs

Knowing the type of infidelity sometimes makes understanding it a little easier. Was it a one night stand or a long term affair? Was it due to mid life crisis or an act of retaliation? Is there a sexual addiction or did he/she want the marriage to end? There are several types of affairs which […]

Counselling Dilemma: Couple Issues

You have been providing relationship counselling to a married couple for 4 months. The couple (Jeremy and Lucinda) have identified a number of issues, including a lack of trust, intimacy and communication. Jeremy had been involved in a brief affair, which he had confessed to his wife. It is largely this issue on which Jeremy […]

Infidelity: But Why?

There is no simple answer to why someone becomes unfaithful. It could be a symptom of other problems in the relationship or it could relate to something in your partner’s past. You may never truly know why it happened. Some believe that in order to reduce anxiety in relationships, we focus on a third party […]

Infidelity: Do’s and Don’ts

There are various losses associated with infidelity and various feelings which are individual to you at this time. Don’t expect these feelings to disappear overnight. Below are some Do’s and Don’ts that you might like to consider: DON’T make any major decisions right now. This is not the time to end your relationship or sell […]

Infidelity: Other Losses

Whether the relationship ends or not, when infidelity occurs some serious losses are felt. Losses can be physical or symbolic and may include: Loss of trust Loss of security Loss of hope/dreams Loss of faith Loss of intimacy and affection Loss of self esteem The obvious loss is that of trust in the other partner. […]

Series: Coping with Infidelity

What exactly defines infidelity? Most of us believe that infidelity is the act of intercourse occurring with an external person outside a relationship. Interestingly, feelings of hurt and betrayal can be equally intense on discovering that your partner has been having secret regular coffee dates with a work colleague. People Magazine asked readers to define […]